I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
