Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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