Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
