i just had sex bonerless
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
