Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
