I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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