fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
