recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He literally asked permission to hit on me
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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