Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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