my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
