"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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