I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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