Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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