it hurts more in the daytime
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
