I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
