just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
