I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
