How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
