I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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