small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
