so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
