i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
