My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
