this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
