So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
