I faked an abortion last night.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
