im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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