Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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