you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
