he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
