Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
How's work?
Spinning.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
