I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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