I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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