chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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