24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
