it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
we're so committed to being not committed
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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