I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just threw up on my dentist
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
