Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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