That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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