This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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