You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
