READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
