Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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