I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
