You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
