Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
