can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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