We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
