i'm signing you up for texting rehab
He had one of those small greek statue penises
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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