Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
